Written by Mad for McGreal
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Topics: crazy, Dave

Tuesday, 27 January 2009

image for What will Dave do next?
Recent image of Daft Dave

The town of Ballina, Co Mayo has been rocked lately by the actions of local lunatic, David Mc Greal or known as Daft Dave to his comrades.

Dave has been terrorising the community and citizens are getting concerned. The Gardai have promised swift action to deal with the matter and lock up Daft Dave again.

Trouble started on September 27th last when Dave attended a Tidy Boys concert in Castlebar. He was introduced to drugs and has never looked back. Following this 'rave' Daft Dave attended DJ Lisa Lashes at a local club in Ballina.

Once inside he caused mayhem and tried to abduct Lisa and bring her to a sex party in a derelict building nearby. Needless to say he failed in his attempt but escaped into the night.

Dave has been spotted selling drugs to children and abusing elderly people on the street. There have been six recent cases of aggravated assault.

He then set up a number of tribute web pages to himself on various social networking sites. Dave has developed a taste for women and word on the street is that there are several local prostitues pregnant with Daves children.

Dave was recently spotted in Manchester with some Islamic terrorists. On returning to Ballina he set up a sex shop, the shop is a front for his various criminal tasks. Drugs are freely available in the shop as are guns, bombs, prostitutes, discount rent boys and books on beating tinkers. He has recently constructed a large ware house near his home to store explosives and sex toys to keep his shop running.

He has recruited children to sell and transport his drugs and has been described as untouchable by the law. More stories about Daft Dave soon, and the Truth behind Dave-Aid 2009 will be exposed.

What will Dave do next?

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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