Written by Jalapenoman
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Monday, 26 January 2009

image for Church of Scientology Buys Vatican
St. Peter's Square will now house a food court

The Church of Scientology, founded by the late Science Fiction writer L. Ron Hubbard, proved themselves to be the richest religious organization in the world by purchasing Vatican City from the Catholic Church.

The group who bases their beliefs on the book "Dianetics" plans to turn the world's smallest nation into a museum and theme park celebrating the works of Dan Brown (The DaVinci Code, Angels & Demons).

When asked where the Catholic Church planned to move their headquarters, Pope Benedict said something in German that the English speaking reporters didn't understand. Translators replied that His Holiness intended to move the Holy See to Neverland Ranch in Southern California because "the Karma of the place fits in really well with our aims" and "Michael Jackson's court cases already proved that we don't have to change."

They also stated that this change would in no way effect individual Catholic churches or congregations.

A high profile Scientologist, who was spotted in a park in Rome leash training his wife, told reporters: "You know nothing about the history of the Catholic Church. I've studied the history of the Catholic Church." He then left the interview, walked into a hotel lobby, and begin bouncing on their couch.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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