As new President Obama contemplates the release of Guantanamo Bay prisoners, many of whom have never been charged with any crime except falling into the hands of some US army hayseed who couldn't tell a terrorist from a turnip, a cautionary tale has emerged from the press room of The Contrarian Tymes.
Akmed Bygmac was held by the Bush torture squad for four years. He had been waterboarded, feather tickled and wet willied until he drooled on himself and sang Dixie 24/7. Liberal pinko lawyers from the conservative Heritage Foundation won his release and Bygmac returned to his Yemeni homeland. Not two years after his release, Bygmac had infiltrated a western business establishment and had replaced US classics like the Freedom Fry and the Chicken McNugget with Muslim favorites like Hamburglar Hummus, Big Macbabaganoush.
Terrorist warrior Wheel Chair Dick Cheney cited the story as proof positive that the enemies of freedom are still trying to break down America's sacred institutions. The McDonald's manager in Yemen City told thespoof.1/4lb'er: " I wish I was in Dixie, hooray, Hooray!"