Written by Aspartame Boy
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Tuesday, 20 January 2009

image for Ask Hitler about aspartame
aspartame : the one drug he would have loved to own

TANDIL, Argentina - Anadna Nosnikliw of the College of Eugenics claims to be in touch with many Nazi's here who can trace themselves directly back to Hitler's organization. She called and told TheSpoof.com today that she claims in fact to be in communication with one who represents Hitler's viewpoints so well, that the Nazis here just call him Adolf.

We asked Anadna what the Nazis are up to these days, and what they may have done with all the gold that they brought from Germany years ago.

Anadna explained that the focus was on answering questions about diet. For example, people often write and ask, "what about aspartame?"

Anadna explained that they aways reply that it is very good for you and if you want to stop drinking soda, just switch to diet soda, because it is so nutritious.

She explains that it is very safe, and was NEVER rejected by the FDA, contrary to what rumors may say on the internet. She explains that aspartame is just a couple of amino acids and no methanol. Those methanol trucks that keep pulling up to aspartame plants? Fuel trucks for the fondue sets she explains.

I asked her if she would drink a diet soda with me. She declined. She explained that you would not want to be drinking diet soda.

When I asked about the seeming conflict between what she told me versus what she tells the people who contact her by mail, she explained that there was so much proof that aspartame is poison, anyone stupid enough to drink it today should die, to cleanse the gene pool, an excellent application of eugenics, she explained.

Anadna explained that the gold was used to start banks to fund companies to manufacture aspartame. Business is good, she explained: There is one born every minute.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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