Written by Fergus McCarthy
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Topics: Miley Cyrus, Virus

Tuesday, 13 January 2009

image for Miley Cyrus Smiley Virus
MC Virus can be transmitted through open wounds.

Chat rooms and forums across the World Wide Web were on high alert this evening after a leading internet security firm issued a 'Code red' warning after a Smiley was found dead on an as yet unnamed social networking forum post originating in Dublin, Ireland.

The deceased Smiley was discovered shortly after 8am this morning when regular forum user Karen O'Connell 17, logged on to her favourite site to see if any one had answered her latest entry.

"I'd just finished the washing up and put Jack to bed, the twins were already in bed at nine and the two young lads were staying at the granny's. I logged on, made some joke or other about 'Beetroot', left me 'Miley Cyrus' Smiley on the end as usual and pissed off to bed.
When I checked this morning she was lying on her back with stuff drooling out of her nose and mouth."

Ms O Connell broke down at this point and was comforted by two of her childrens father's before regaining enough composure to continue.

"I didn't pass any remarks at first, we've all been there. Then I checked my Emails and all the Smileys were either dead or dying. All my files have been wiped from my computer, Sugababes, Girls Aloud, Jacks 1st Communion pictures the lot. Gone!"

Greg Gallagher of Net Security firm 'Worms'n'Shit' warned of complacency and urged everyone that has a 'Smiley' or an 'Emoticon' to 'Do the right thing' and dispose of them as quickly and as humanely as possible.

"Smiley virus's can and do spread quickly in the virtual world in much the same way as the human flu virus travels in the real world, in computer terms it's as potentially devastating as a foot and mouth outbreak entering the food chain."

"We do sympathize with Smiley owner's, we realise that some people have had the same annoying, irritating little yellow pus filled balls of shite as a cheery signature at the end of their posts for many years and can, in some sad and pathetic cases, become emotionally attached to the pixaleted little ticks.

However, I would just remind people that Smileys are not real, they are disease ridden vermin and should be treated as such. Users are advised to drag their Smileys into the trash and empty it immediately to avoid any possible damage to their pc's."

Chat room users are also being advised not to try and make their own Smileys, like this one..... :) Or this one.... :( As they are just as annoying as the shitty little moving ones.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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