Written by Rusty
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Topics: Israel, Middle East

Thursday, 8 January 2009

image for The Circus Without a Tent
Holy Land = Holy War

International critics today slated the Israeli-Palestinian Truce as being more at Scent than Substance.

Israel has agreed on 'the principles' of a ceasefire proposal, raising hopes for the Palestinian militants in Gaza of a chance to fully rearm themselves.

The development came as Israel halted military operations in Gaza for three hours to aid humanitarian efforts.

The conditional three hour truce, which began about 1100 GMT and ended shortly after 1400 GMT, was the first of what an Israeli spokesman said would be a daily ceasefire to allow the Palestinians to "restock with body bags and get medical attention, seek food and water, take a crap in peace, smuggle in more rockets and mortar shells : whatever they need".

News agencies reported that Gaza residents had rushed out into the streets during the lull to stock up on food and weapons, check their Lotto results and visit relatives in the local cemetery.

While Hamas says any ceasefire deal must include an end to Israel's blockade of Gaza, Israel simply wants the Palestinians to bugger off and live elsewhere.

Sabra IDF Colonel Moshe ben Schnozzer told reporters "We legally stole this land off them in 1948, they gave it up and ran away, and now they want it back."

"Bleedin' typical of these greedy, grasping Arab types, they're even worse than the Jews."

However, the Israeli military has been called "an evil bunch of bullying cunts" by International aid agencies who have warned of a mounting humanitarian crisis for the 1.5 million Palestinians in Gaza, who are unable to escape to some peaceful and cosy refugee camp in Lebanon or Cyprus because of Israel's blockade.

The Arab League aid agency Islam-a-Spam warned that Israel has incurred the wrath of Allah for their genocidal attacks on Palestinians and will suffer a mass snuffing alike the historical Sennacherib.

Security sources have confirmed that senior Israeli defence officials Amos and Andy Gonad will travel to Cairo on Thursday to discuss kosher ceasefire options with Baron Rothschild and the Thomas Cook Travel agents.

Palestinian Authority leader Mahmoud Al Kaboom is expected in Cairo a day later for talks with Mohammed al Fayed's representatives to arrange the opening of a corporate account with Harrods of London : Purveyors of fine jams, cold meats, soups and ballistic missiles.

In a statement released on Wednesday, France's President Nicolas Teakozy welcomed "the acceptance by Israel and the Palestinian Authority" of the French-Egyptian ceasefire plan which was drafted on the back of a bus ticket.

Teakozy's statement however failed to mention Hamas, who are currently the democratically-elected 'Palestinian Authority'.

Are you or your friends or family in the region affected by the violence? We pay top dollar / cash-in-hand for graphic photos and film footage of Palestinians being blown to pieces by Israeli bombardments.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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