Written by IainB
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Wednesday, 7 January 2009

image for Panic stockpiling of light-bulbs
A typical "bright" low energy bulb

With the European Union set to ban the sale of incandescent light-bulbs in 2012, panicked shoppers are stockpiling them three years ahead of the ban.

The aim of the EU is to encourage shoppers to switch to the more environmentally friendly low energy bulbs.

One shopper, Matilda Builder, was seen leaving the last Woolworths with over a hundred sixty watt bulbs in her large trolley.

"I cannot stand the low energy bulbs," she said. "They take five minutes to get up to full brightness and make the dining room look like a staff canteen. Admittedly, the Formica tables and tray storage units I bought, from Woolworths canteen, don't help."

Mrs Builder isn't the only one, shoppers across the country are stripping supermarkets bare of bulbs from twenty watts up to one hundred watts to eke out the better light they produce as long as possible. Shoppers in Norfolk are getting the wrong end of the stick as usual, and stocking up on daffodil bulbs.

"Well," drawled Seth Sixfingers from Norwich, "if I don't plant them, I can always have 'em for me tea."

EU Ministers have branded the actions as "short-sighted", "rash" and "stopping me from buying mine".

"Everybody has to do their part in stopping the global time bomb," said Eyam Green, EU Minister for the Environment. "Switching to low energy bulbs will cut carbon emissions across Europe by one percent. Or the equivalent of a week's air travel, to put it another way."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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