Washington/DC/ Spook News from Langley - In a surprise move, hailed as "brilliant", by liberals, President Elect Obama has named famed talk show host Larry King, as head of the nation's super secret CIA.
Declaring that world events "are the scariest" in our life time, Obama said he wanted his CIA head "to be able to talk nice to everybody, and present a very non aggressive demeanor" in order to maintain "World Peace".
Obama went on to tout the resume of the new appointee, saying, "he even interviewed Putin", to answer critics that said King couldn't find his ass with both hands.
Pleased with the kiss ass interview, Putin is said to have issued King a Fatwa , or a safe and hold harmless decree, sparing his life, unlike a long list of less fortunate investigative reporters in Russia.
Questioned about King's felony arrest in 1971 for a fraud involving convicted financier Louis Wolfson, when King promised he could get his conviction overturned for money, Obama said he wasn't aware of that issue, and said there must be a mistake as Mr. King "was very nice to my wife when he interviewed her, and I don't really think he's from Chicago!"
Larry King, formerly Lawrence Ziegler, has been married multiple times, and has proposed at least 58 times on air while interviewing some of Hollywoods scariest airheads. Critics said " the only hard question Larry ever brought up was the one he had in his pants and that was off air, and off the record!"
Larry said he couldn't wait to meet with the rest of the President's Clinton Cabinet. "Bill and Hillary are the most charming couple I know, and I just can't wait to work with them! I am especially anxious to get together with Bill on the road and compare some Hollywood notes on "who's really, really easy!"