Written by matwil
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Topics: Israel, Hitler

Monday, 5 January 2009

image for 'Israelis going too far', claims Hitler
Menachem Begin will be appearing at the Hague next summer

In a surprise speech in Berlin today, German Chancellor Adolf Hitler claimed that Israelis were being too extreme against the Palestinians of Gaza.

'Top marks for the air attacks on civilians, sure', he said, though in German, 'and yeah, cutting off medical supplies and water and foreign aid, not bad for amateurs. But not even I would have sent in hundreds of tanks and soldiers against a basically harmless civilian population. I mean, come on guys, you already control the Gaza, what a waste of time and money. Why not pick on someone your own size, like Saudi Arabia or Iran?'

Pausing to eat a kosher vegetarian hamburger, blessed by the Chief Rabbi of occupied Norway, the Fuhrer continued: 'It would be like us attacking Paris after occupying France, I would never have let a single German soldier die in such pointlessness.'

'The Israelis are going too far, they're achieving nothing and have lost any remaining respect they had in the Western world - and almost all against civilians and their children. If they had any sense they'd get rid of their Prime Minister and government, before their country self-destructs. But at least I'll get re-elected on the anti-Semitic ticket yet again, heh heh heh. Later, Eva, I'm busy.'

But Minister of the Interior Hermann Goring didn't agree. 'I don't agree', he said, 'if it was up to me I'd send in wave after wave of jets and tanks to massacre the population, and destroy all the buildings, including hospitals and schools. Oh, the Israelis are already doing that, OK then.'

Half the Israeli cabinet were unavailable for comment, as they're still wanted for trial by the Hague for war crimes.

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