HELL - If you thought that the global economic crisis was only affecting you, you were wrong. It seems even Lucifer, the devil himself is experiencing some problems of his own.
Following the closure of retail giant Woolworths, 'Le Diablo' expressed his worries concerning his multi-billion dollar enterprise - HELL (Hades Even Loves Liars).
Smoke I tell ya. It's all gonna go up in smoke. With all this credit crunch business, people are buying less booze, ciggarettes, crack, coke, meth and all the others. How d'you expect a guy to pay the bills for this place when less people i dying? I need people to unknowingly kill themselves by buying these products so the hits keep coming in. I'm afraid not enough people are dying. - Sobbed a distraught Devil
In a last effort to counter the effects of the global crisis, Lucifer is offering 7 wishes completely free at the mere price of your soul.
This is a once in a life time oppurtunity! Seven wishes...and just for your soul. Would you look at that!
- John Winters
A real bargin i reckon. It's all very lovely
- Jermaine Backstop aka JB
Pick up your phone and dail 666 right now. Call charges will be six times the usual.
The Devil will and cannot be held responsible for any sudden ailments, accidents, or serious injuries following the selling of a soul.