Written by Monkey Woods
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Topics: China, Panda, kung fu, Taiwan

Wednesday, 24 December 2008

image for Kung Fu Pandas Sent To Taiwan By Chinese Aggressors
One of the lazy bastards

China has made the first tentative steps towards an agreement with its rogue state, Taiwan, today by sending two pandas to its neighbour in the hope that it will be seen as an act of friendship, and become a platform for negotiation.

Taiwanese officials, however, were infuriated to find that, once they had opened the boxes containing the animals, they were infamous martial arts exponents and stunt doubles from the movie Kung Fu Panda.

According to Mr Hi Hoo Saw, the pandas leapt out of their box, and began kicking the Taiwanese dignitaries, whilst swatting aside any attempts by zookeepers to repel their attacks.

Experts in the art of Kung Fu, both animals appeared to laugh as they kicked, punched and chopped anyone who stood in their way, until crack minders armed with powerful rifles sedated the beasts with tranquilisers.

Pandas are normally shy and lazy creatures who eat a diet of bamboo, but these two had obviously undergone training by a Kung Fu master to enable them to carry out such a prolonged and sustained attack.

Are you bored yet, Grasshopper?

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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