With less than a week before Christmas, the United States Marine Corps has declared it's annual "Toys For Tots" drive in Baghdad to be a resounding success. Despite concerns about a stagnant economy and an ongoing war, the Marines have seen donations at an all-time high in and around the Iraqi capital.
"We are just overwhelmed", says Colonel Ambrose Tibbet, "The donations are coming in almost as fast as we can process them. We are seeing handguns, automatic and semiautomatic rifles, RPGs, mortars, etc. A lot of the stuff is brand new, still in the packing grease. I can tell you, there are going to be a lot of smiles come Christmas morning!"
One item that promises to be this year's hot, must-have gift is the C-4 plastique explosive. It's malleable, easy to work with, perfect for little fingers, plus, it "takes an awesome impression", says Col. Tibbet. "Pretty much anything you can do with Silly Putty, you can do with C-4."
Another item at the top of most every child's "wish list" are the small canisters of mustard gas, known as Green Goblins to the local kids who love to watch the colored gas drift in the breeze. "Some guy drove up with a truckload of 'em and dropped 'em off, just like that." says Tibbet.
No doubt about it, Santa Claus IS coming to town, and this year he's packing some serious heat!