Makena HI-- Heather Mills and Guy Ritchie surprised everyone in the world and quietly married each other today. The ex-Mrs. Paul McCartney and the ex-Mr. Madonna tied the knot at a small, quaint church in Wales before flying off to Maui for their honeymoon.
The couple is "very, very much in love" according to Ms. Mills. She gave an interview to TheSpoof.com after arriving in Maui.
"We feel like teenagers again." said the new Mrs. Ritchie. "This is the real thing, it was love at first sight last week. We met by chance at the divorce attorney's office. We both went mad with desire the moment we shook hands, we haven't been apart since." said the blushing bride.
The couple was asked if anyone signed a prenuptial agreement. Ms. Mills received about $50 million in her divorce settlement from Paul McCartney. Mr. Ritchie received almost $100 million in his divorce settlement from Madonna.
"We don't care about money, we're in love!" said Ms. Mills.
"Maybe we should have, darling." interrupted Mr. Ritchie.
"And just what do you mean by that?" snapped Ms. Mills in a snarky voice.
"Can't you understand English, you one-legged gimp!" Mr. Ritchie snapped back
"You f&ck&ing bastard!!"
"You creepy bitch!"
The unhappy couple abruptly ended the interview and were last seen flying back to London to their divorce attorney.