Written by Den Davies
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Topics: Marriage

Friday, 11 June 2004

"WE COULDN'T HAVE A GAY MARRIAGE, SO WE DID WHAT WE THOUGHT WAS APPROPRIATE", SAY ITALIAN COUPLE

Gay rights activists the whole world over are rejoicing over news that Milanese couple Marco Del Culo and Giuliano Cazzo have tied the lot, instead of tying the knot in the first known case of voluntary conjoining the world has seen.

The couple endured a procedure lasting four hours, which by their own choosing, cannot be reversed. They are joined at the head via a specially treated skin graft that can allow them to stretch to as much as one foot apart. The decision to go ahead with the operation, which was life threatening for one of them, came after the Vatican refused to allow them special permission to have their union blessed in the traditional fashion. Marco said "The church wouldn't allow us to express our love for each other, so we decided to do it in the most obvious way possible".

Critics, mostly homophobic Italian men, have slammed their decision stating that it's a waste of valuable plastic surgeons time, when they could better spend it improving the looks of Italian women by straightening out their unsightly crooked noses.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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