Ballybollox, Eire - (Shergar Mess): Ireland's European Affairs minister Dick Roche has been held hostage at gunpoint during an EU Treaty Referendum Mark 2 seige.
He was grabbed by hooded armed robbers who then escaped with an undisclosed referendum comittment in an unmarked diplomatic getaway car.
Irish voters famously rejected the EU's daftass Lisbon Treaty proposals last summer.
But this has not stopped Irish Prime Monster Gerry Adams on insisting on a second attempt for a ballot on the matter.
Roche, 69, was returning from a visit to the Irish National Sperm Bank after making his usual daily deposit when he was "approached from behind" and had a gun shoved into his back, according to sources.
Several dozen shots of Jack Daniels later he is said to be recovering nicely.