Written by shea lo
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Topics: India, Guantanamo

Saturday, 13 December 2008

image for India uses novel torture technique on Pakistani militants - says "We don't need Guantanamo"
back to the 7th century

The lone-surviving Pakistani militant in Indian custody has been singing like a canary. While the Zardari-Gilani government (pressured by the Army-Mullah-Militant nexus) has been running hither-thither and yon pointing fingers sideways and complaining to CNN: "Lahree - ve too are wictims of tarrorism" - the 'Butcher's' son and gutless murderer from Faridkot, has been eagerly fingering the jihadi elements within the ISI and the Pakistani Army.

American sources (AKA interlocutors) have stated that India has found a "novel way to break the backbone of the captured militant without defiling Geneva Convention norms". This same source said "too bad we did not ask the Indians for interrogation ideas before we came up with Guantanamo"

This Spoof.com reporter can now reveal what this new form of torture consists of based on a comment made by Indian police: "Pakistani diet is full of fatty meat - they love to suck on the marrow bones of fat-tailed sheep. Even when they cook lentils or vegetables, they add lots of greasy, fatty mutton to the dish. Too much cholesterol had atrophied their brain, caused reduced blood flow. No wonder they can be so easily influenced. We have put this butcher's son on a pure vegetarian diet - rotis, sabzi, dal - three times a day. While in fatty-meat withdrawal, his brain blood supply has been greatly improved and he has come to his senses".

For his part the captured militant jihadi has completely repented his "sins' claiming he was "misled" by the Army, the ISI and the militant leaders posing as so-called Charity workers. "Lying comes so naturally to us - it's our national past-time. We even lie to ourselves, that's how good we have become", he confessed.

He had a message for his country: "Zardar-Gilani-Kayani please pull your heads out of your backsides and start telling the truth. Our 'nation-of-the-pure' has been caught with its pants down."

He then broke down crying "I want my mommy".

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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