Couples who cannot have sexual intercourse or cannot conceive children naturally have sought methods of reproduction to obey the biblical commission to go forth and multiply and fill the earth. These unique acts of love have been condemned by the Vatican:
" We insist on sex!", demanded Cardinal Dogstilo," You can do it rightside up , from behind or every which way but God wants good old fashioned fucking to bring his children into this vale of tears. The Lord condemns all extraordinary technologies that assist the Creator in performing his mission. God made the penis and the vagina. Trust his tools and if they don't work accept that his will is that you be barren!"