Written by Danto
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Topics: duck, Disneyland

Friday, 11 June 2004

Donald Duck ducked reporters' questions at a post-birthday party press conference at Disneyland.
It was a big day for the world's best-known lisping waterfowl, who turned 70.
‘This is a duck with one short fuse and an amazing (if unintelligible) command of language, and when things don't go right, he goes ballistic,' Donald's Disney history explains. But ‘Donald Duck has a good heart and always has good intentions. Well, almost always.'
Immortalised in 128 cartoons, and on merchandise, Donald refused to reveal the secret of not looking his age. He only quipped, ‘Hiya, toots.'
On whether he planned marriage, he said, ‘Aw, phooey.'
When asked whether there was truth in reports that he had plans to retire, he said, ‘Nothin' to it.'
He refused to elaborate on any of his 70 answers to 70 questions, leaving the 70 reporters flustered.
Served at the birthday party earlier, were Peking Duck, Tea Smoked Duck, Crispy Duck and Roast Duck.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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