Written by IainB
Rating:

Share/Bookmark
Print this

Wednesday, 10 December 2008

image for Santa shops at Aldi
£2.95 with free bottle of Vodka, whilst stocks last

A recent press release from the British discount supermarket chain, Aldi, has revealed that Father Christmas shops for all his Christmas goodies at their Redditch store.

"We were quite surprised to see him," said Ahem Malud, manager of the store. "He pulled up into the car park in full regailia on a sleigh pulled by eight flying reindeer. I was slightly disappointed that the lead reindeer didn't have a shiny red nose, but it was obviously him. The beard was a dead give away."

Released CCTV footage showed Saint Nick wandering around the store filling his trolley with the cheap electrical goods on offer that day, and perusing the under-fives' toy section, eventually selecting all of them. At one point he had to interrupt his shopping to get another trolley, borrowing a pound coin to release it off a sales assistant who looked awestruck by the anthropomorphic personification wandering around the store.

"I didn't think he was real until I saw him with my own eyes," Malud said. "He got to the checkouts with two trolleys loaded with booze, toys and electrical goods. What with discounts and special offers he must have had nearly fifty quids worth of stuff."

The CCTV footage showed the staff helpfully loading Santa's sleigh, with the bill mounting up into the tens of pounds, before Santa leapt into his sleigh and flew off with a deep "Ho! Ho! Ho!".

"It was an honour to have the spirit of Christmas here in our store," Malud said, "I just wish one of the staff had thought to ask him to pay!"

Make IainB's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!

Print this


Share/Bookmark

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Email:

What's 3 plus 4?

2 5 7 17

Go to top