Written by Mary Popin
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Topics: Drugs, Letters, Poison, Semen

Tuesday, 9 December 2008

image for Suspicious Powder Found in Letters
Dried sperm in the flour

ICELAND - Suspicious letters containing a white substance addressed to local straight men were intercepted in at least six places on Monday, but tests indicated the white stuff in five of them was dried sperm.

The letters were reported in Alaska, Isle of White and west Morecambe. Though no injuries were immediately reported, the mailings disrupted postal workers in a few of the towns, forcing some closures and testing for workers who might have sniffed the white powdered letters.

Preliminary tests found the white dried powder was not harmful. The Morecambe letter made it to local bakery where it was mistaken for dried yeast and put into the production of bread, test results on the bread were expected Tuesday.

Barnstable officials said the police were working with gay agencies in each town to investigate the sperm dried letters. A Lesbian spokeswoman said " its disgusting what gay men are willing to do" and referred questions about the investigation to the relevant gay offices.

Icelands's public health director, Crusty Morphy, said "there may be more letters out there" and asked everyone to be on the lookout.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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