In breaking news, the Vatican has announced that it will subpoena former Beatle Paul McCartney to attend a special hearing by the Office of Orthodox Instruction (formerly the Inquisition set up originally during the Reformation).
Whilst the Vatican recently (and reluctantly) reversed its disfavour of John Lennon's remarks about the Beatles being more popular than Jesus Christ, it has decided to punish Lennon on his notorious profanity performed in the song Ballad of John and Yoko.
Singing "Christ you know it aint easy.....they're gonna crucify me" Lennon externalised his feelings about being a Beatle and life in the late 1960s. However since the famous moptop has been dead now for 28 years, the Vatican will proceed undeterred by prosecuting the song's co-author Paul McCartney.
Many people are disturbed and more than a little put out by the Vatican's officious behaviour. If McCartney is found in breach of Vatican teachings he will be burnt at the stake in a ritual that hasn't been performed for 250 years.
Monsignor Franz Goebbels (grandson of the famous Nazi) says that the Office has recently acquired all the necessary fuel needed to set up the pyre including dry hay and oak branches. "We are looking forward to this one, yeah!" exclaimed the Vatican zealot.
Paul McCartney has reacted naturally to the story. "I died 40 years ago, just listen to the Beatle songs" he said.