Written by Phil Edgar's Bones
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Topics: Fat, Boy George, Trial

Friday, 5 December 2008

image for Boy George is Fat and Guilty Say Smug Jury!
Culture Tub Boy George Leaving Court Looking Fat And Has-Been Like!

Fat Boy George O'Dowd, was found guilty by a group of people, that enjoy seeing celebrities brought to their knees.

The 1980's pop sensation was found guilty of being fat, bald, and looking "very ordinary". He was also found guilty of the lesser crime of chaining up a male prossie"

One of the jurors, Mr Bitterman said " I used to watch Boy George in the eighties and all the women use to go mad for 'im, even though he was obviously a "lifter of shirts". But look at him today ruined by me. I feel great !"

Another juror Mrs Smugarina Piousity Bitch said "Well, how the big, fat and mighty have fallen. I remember buying "Colour By numbers", when I was a sexy teen. Isn't it ironic that he couldn't "BUY" my support today. Oh Ho !"

Members of the scum tabloid press, were involved in a Walmart style rampage, as they charged out of court. Crushing a Policeman, giving an obligatory press conference about the case, on the steps of the court. DC Barry Hopper was hoping to use the footage as a show-reel for a "Crime-Watch Presenter's Job" or a "Cops do the Coppiest Things" Audition. The wannabe 'cop presenter', will now only, feature on "When people Stampede".

The stampede was caused by.... the press fighting to access the Culture Club discography on the internet- In a bid to work puns of the former star's lyrics into witty and salacious headlines. A small nucleus of the press were also rushing to update the Wikipedia profile on Boy George aka Culture Tub".

Top Ten So Far

"Whore was stupid or Man-whore was stupid"

"Did you really want to hurt me....YES !"

"I'll do time 4 Ya"

"In the Flat of the Poison Mind"

"Give him time to realise his crimes!"

"Give me time.....I realise my crimes, your Honor"

"It's a Manacle... says manwhore"

"Mistake No 3 ...gets Culture Tubby man a guilty verdict"

"Walking up .....in Wormwood Scrubs"

"Everything I own.....will be put in a plastic bag and given to me on release".

"Hi Hat...and even Higher Walls"

The Tabloids predict that, 'Has-Been, Fallen, Disgraced, Fat, Bald' George could spend anything from three seconds to three centuries in jail.

"Who cares ?" said a representative from the scum press " He is fat, bald, poorer than me and possibly going down....let the champagne flow and presses roll!"

Boy George's Lawyer, Bernie Finklestein, was seen slipping out a court toilet window"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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