Written by IainB
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Topics: World Record, Piss

Thursday, 4 December 2008

image for World Record Peeing Record Broken
Just not big enough - use the bath

Uri Nator of the Gambia has just broken the world record for peeing, slashing the previous record held by Jimmy Riddle of Wolverhampton.

Riddle's record was an astounding one minute seventeen seconds, but Nator waded in with five minutes twelve seconds. The average time spent by a man 'visiting the smallest room' is a shade over thirty seconds (time it yourself), and it takes a lot of preparation to exceed this.

Uri has been preparing for three years steadily increasing the length of time between bathroom visits, whilst drinking ever more water. A recent ultrasound of his bladder showed it to be twenty times the normal size for a man his height, and capable of holding ten litres. For three days prior to the record attempt Uri drank copiously without relieving himself once.

There was a small hitch just before he started to micturate when the stopwatch could not be found, and Nator could be seen hopping from foot to foot, clutching himself, however the stop watch was found just before it wouldn't be needed. Five and a bit minutes later and Uri Nator was awarded his certificate.

Boris McWater of the Guiness Book of Records had some advice: "For most people it's not safe to avoid visiting the lav when you need to go, and can lead to serious urinary problems. Attempts such as these should only be attempted by trained professionals. We have to say this in case somebody wants to sue after bursting their bladder. Bloody litigious society! It'll be the death of my book, you know."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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