Written by winston_smith
Rating:

Share/Bookmark
Print this

Monday, 1 December 2008

image for Spring Fashion: Painted Camel toes
Painted Cameltoes Spring Fashion Statement

Paris, France: In a controversial and visually alarming display, Foofi, the designer enfant terrible, has introduced literally painted gentilia and buttocks as his Spring fashion line. Foofi's models paraded the run way with assorted garments covering their waists, shoulders, legs and arms, except for those all other body parts were left exposed.

That is to say they were painted with a special latex/spandex compound in assorted traditional lighter spring colors. Light tans, whites, yellows, coco browns were especially shocking.

Foofi's models, uninhibitedly strutted the runways, striking poses, bending over, even squatting to show the extant of the 'painted garments' coverage. Although there was no actual, 'pinkage', (Foofi's term) exposure, it certainly didn't leave much for the imagination.

"It iz bootiful. Light, sexzee, and it comes in all sizes," enthused Foofi, 'all ze vomen vill find ze right fit."

Foofi intends to open small paint emporiums at many of the finer fashion outlets. There, a customer, on picking there ensemble, will have their breasts,vagina, buttocks painted the color and amount they wish.

Foofi angrily defended his artistic fashion creation, " Ze body parts they are covered no?"
Well 'no' pointed out this reporter.

When liking the paint jobs to the children's fable, "An Emperor's New Clothes', where a pompous fashioned ruler paraded about the town with what he thought were new clothes, when in reality he was naked, Foofi became irate.

"What? You zink theeese is not art?"

Again, this reporter discreetly answered, "No, how does this serve functionally ? There are biological concerns."

"Form and functionality have nothing to do in ze fashion world. You zink walking on nine inch stilettos is functional? A bodice strapped on to eliminated ze fat cow's udder it iz strapped to? Vy are we hypocritical in mini skirts, just hoping for ze gust of wind, or flight of ze stairs? Foofi's way is practical. Everyone vill carry ze touch up can, to touch up vhen human needs are attended to. Like make-up, leepstick, mascara…"

The thought of a gaggle of women attending those 'touch ups' in front of a make up mirror in a crowded loo was the first image of shudder for this reporter.

"Will there be similar fashion line of male coverage?" Foofi was asked.

"Ahh but of course, but men are not so concerned as to ze fashion statement as to ze size and appearance. Colors can be very flattering as to making somezing appear larger zan it really is, moles, warts, all can be masked with ze layer of Foofi."

Foofi ended the interview stating, "My fashion is my art, it is very indivualeeztic, very expressive, and very in your face."

Again, this reporter shuddered, in your face indeed.

Make winston_smith's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!

Print this


Share/Bookmark

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Email:

What's 2 multiplied by 1?

1 5 2 6

Go to top