Written by Charlie Van Horn
Rating:

Share/Bookmark
Print this
Topics: Al Jazeera, picture

Sunday, 13 June 2004

DOHA, Qatar -- A new audiotape and picture was received today from Al Qaida. Al Jazeera released the documents, purporting to be from Osama Bin Ladens' (center of photograph) terror network, which shows the terror group leader with two other high ranking officials of COBRA.

The other men in the photograph, a Scottish arms dealer James McCullen, also known as Destro, is on the left. The man on the right goes by the name of Cobra Commander, who, according to the CIA, is a United States citizen and leader of the worldwide terrorist group.

The State Department warned U.S. embassies to be on the alert for large groups of vehicles or aircraft bearing the red 'snake head' logo.

COBRA claimed responsibility for the September 1994 attack on President Clinton. In that attack, Cobra Commander is alleged to have supplied crack cocaine, laced with a mind control substance designed by terrorist scientist Dr. Mindbender, to pilot Frank Eugene Corder.

The plan, which was not successful, led to Corder slamming the Cessna P150 aircraft into the south lawn of the White House and losing his own life. Dr. Mindbender was killed in a cruise missile strike against COBRA in 1998.

The recording enclosed with the photo contains many threats made within the last few days, according to Pentagon sources.

Bin Laden is said to reference the Tampa Bay Lightenings' win of the Stanley Cup, the eighteenth birthdays of the Olsens' , then continue, through the aid of an unknown translator, discuss a planned attack on United States targets around the world.

Released on Al Jazeera earlier today, a chilling account of planned attacks is discussed by the three.

Cobra Commander-"We have many large spring loaded red missiles"

Bin Laden speaking through a translator-"What kind...(unintelligible noises)...are we expecting with these"

Destro-"COBRA ensures you that they will present a choking hazard, especially in children younger than three"

The Department of Homeland Security Secretary Tom Ridge has made no indication that they would raise the terror alert level at this time.

Make Charlie Van Horn's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!

Print this


Share/Bookmark

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Email:

What's 1 multiplied by 4?

1 3 4 11

Go to top