Written by Riaz Ali
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Topics: Camel

Monday, 14 January 2002

image for Camel owner gets the hump
My hump's gone all soft!

Mr Abel Snodrington (Jr) of Tunbridge Wells today discovered that one of his pet camels humps had appeared on his own back. He discovered it as he was putting down a fresh saucer of milk for his wife.

"I bent over and felt this flopping thing on my back. At first I thought it was one of the kids, but then remembered they had all died the year before in a bizarre chocolate accident. They were all eating chocolate in the street and a steamroller ran over them."

He then went on to explain the latest trauma in his life.

"I'm gonna tell you about this latest trauma in my life," he explained whilst stroking his ginger pussy. I bought my three camels from Egypt ten years ago. I was digging around the Sphinx when I came across a large tomb made of solid gold. Around the tomb was a pit of snakes and around the snakes was a trench of hot black tar. Anyway, I filled up a pot full of tar and swapped it for three camels then came home."

Mr Snodrington flushed at the mention of the saucer of milk.

"It's a little game my wife and I play," he revealed sheepishly, "I put down a saucer of milk in the morning and she runs downstairs in her wellies, balances the saucer of milk on her head then runs out into the street and stuffs the first squirrel she finds up her arse."

The humpless camel was called George.

"I don't know how he's going to survive without his hump," Mr Snodrington mused. "Unless I can fix some sort of replacement to his back."

Three weeks later Mr Snodrington was pictured in Iceland with his Camel, now with a small mahogany effect coffee table on its back.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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