Written by jeremy griffiths
Print this
Topics: Sailing, Boat Race

Sunday, 30 November 2008

image for Pedalophile Ring Smashed
No more abuse for this lot!

Interpol has announced that following "unprecedented" international co-operation, a "particularly slimey" pedalophile ring has been broken up.

"We have been closely in the wake of these despicable pedo's" said a buoyant Capt Pugwash of D.R.I.B.B.L.E. (Direct Response International Bigger Boating Lakes Europe)
"We have spent weeks in the bushes watching these creeps operate, they are cunning and devious, often using children in the pursuit of their disgusting activities".

Much distress has been caused over the last few years to visitors using municipal parks and holiday camps, Butlins has been brought to the brink by huge losses of pedalos.

"It's always the kids that suffer" bemoaned Wesley Snerk, "It's so distressing, we call and call, 'Come in no. 24, your time is up', only to discover no.24 has been nicked, pinched, half-inched by unscrupulous pedalophiles.

"They just can't enjoy the facilities like everyone else, they have to purloin the peds for their own selfish use".

Hundreds of pedalos were recovered following the recent pedalophile ring breakup, many were found at Neverland ranch on Michael's private lake.

The investigation is believed to have been triggered by a boastful aircraft spotter, anti terrorist officers who integrate these groups picked up leads on the pedalophile ring, leading to the successful arrests, and the closing down of the highly secret and disgusting pedoworld.com website which contains trauma inducing images of pedalos.

Authorities worldwide are introducing new measures, including tracking chips in pedalos, and face and print recording of pedalo hirers at point of float.

Make jeremy griffiths's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

More by this writer

View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story


Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!


What's 3 plus 2?

7 23 5 13
95 readers are online right now!

Go to top

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more