Written by jeremy griffiths
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Topics: Boat Race, Sailing

Sunday, 30 November 2008

image for Pedalophile Ring Smashed
No more abuse for this lot!

Interpol has announced that following "unprecedented" international co-operation, a "particularly slimey" pedalophile ring has been broken up.

"We have been closely in the wake of these despicable pedo's" said a buoyant Capt Pugwash of D.R.I.B.B.L.E. (Direct Response International Bigger Boating Lakes Europe)
"We have spent weeks in the bushes watching these creeps operate, they are cunning and devious, often using children in the pursuit of their disgusting activities".

Much distress has been caused over the last few years to visitors using municipal parks and holiday camps, Butlins has been brought to the brink by huge losses of pedalos.

"It's always the kids that suffer" bemoaned Wesley Snerk, "It's so distressing, we call and call, 'Come in no. 24, your time is up', only to discover no.24 has been nicked, pinched, half-inched by unscrupulous pedalophiles.

"They just can't enjoy the facilities like everyone else, they have to purloin the peds for their own selfish use".

Hundreds of pedalos were recovered following the recent pedalophile ring breakup, many were found at Neverland ranch on Michael's private lake.

The investigation is believed to have been triggered by a boastful aircraft spotter, anti terrorist officers who integrate these groups picked up leads on the pedalophile ring, leading to the successful arrests, and the closing down of the highly secret and disgusting pedoworld.com website which contains trauma inducing images of pedalos.

Authorities worldwide are introducing new measures, including tracking chips in pedalos, and face and print recording of pedalo hirers at point of float.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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