Francesca Delaney, an Iowa woman who has had more than her share of fame recently, has now claimed her boyfriend, Zeb Johanson, has solved the world energy crisis. Apparently Mr. Johanson captures his self produced methane, (i.e. farts) and pumps it into his modified tractor.
Mrs. Mullaney, who is separated but 'getting milked', heard unusual activity in the bathroom early one Saturday.
"I went to the door, peeked inside, and there was Zeb, naked bent over the sink with a tube inserted in his bottom and a bag hanging from the shower rod. He was so busy adjusting it in front he paid no attention to my observing his behind. When he appeared to be finished in the front he just kind of shuddered and let out a sigh. I kind of tippy toed back to bed, when I heard what sounded like a small eruption, in the bathroom. Here I was a trying to figure what the heck took place. So Zeb comes back and I asked him.
He's the most modest and shy man I ever did know,he was just stammering and shucking, then he says, "I was collecting gas for my tractor", and then it all came into place. I thought that was so clever I called the newspapers right away. Why if we're all connected to these devices then we can be self powered, right?We can solve the energy crisis if everyone just 'hooked up'."
Mr. Johanson could not be reached for comment.
The Big Three automakers have vowed to review this announcement seriously if it were made prerequisite to receive their bailout.
"Shows we're exploring all avenues seriously," said Jack Scrotums some vice president in charge of something.