Written by JJ Jogolo
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Sunday, 23 November 2008

image for Paris Hilton Verifies President Bush's Cocaine Problem
Georgie is a coke hound

President Bush was dealt another deadly blow (pun intended) to his re-election bid last night. Ironically the damaging disclosure took place during a live broadcast of Fox Television's "The Simple Life 4" - Paris Hilton's latest hit reality show.

Miss Hilton was involved in making a pancake breakfast for her special on the road guests, Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston when the faux pas occured. All three stars believed that the cameras had cut to commercial and their microphones were off when they began discussing Kitty Kelly's new book, "Kitty Kelly Bush Book Rumors."

Laughing and giggling, still broadcasting live with microphones on, the conversation came to Paris and she began to recount a recent encounter with the President of the US.

"I was with Georgie last month in his oval room and he busted out like an ounce of coke. That old dude can sniff some snuff, I mean he did like a gram and a half straight up his nose." said Hilton.

"Then the old booger has me sit on his lap while I did my lines," continued Hilton, "so I started teasing him like crazy and he whips out this teeny little weenie. I touched it, like giving him some hand and the little thing just stayed teeny and soft. What a waste of good coke, I told him before I left."

All three stars were laughing hysterically until the shows producer ran into the room yelling about the show still being live and on air. The mood quieted for a moment, until the group realized that the publicity for this error would probably net them all millions of dollars - to which Paris said, "...who needs money? I just hope I don't lose my show because of that little pud!"

Fox TV says that due to technical difficulties with their video tape equipment, this live episode of "The Simple Life 2" will not be able to be rerun at any later date. Although, many viewers have offered to donate their home copies to Fox for re-airing.

Fox News' Shawn Hannity is calling the incident "a staged assault against the best damn President this nation has ever known!" Bill O'reilly says that he suspects Michael Moore is somehow connected to this story. HBO's Bill Maher was quoted as saying, "See, I tried to tell you."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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