London-- The Royal Family was tormented by an enormous 2-metre long rat that terrorized everyone at Buckingham Palace last night. The famous residence has been infested with rodents since a pussycat visited Queen Victoria and frightened a mouse under the stairs. The Princess of Cornwall was the first victim of the giant Ratus vulgaris.
"I thought it was that silly Charles nipping my toes!" laughed Camilla. "He sometimes pays attention to me when he's not wanking off on Diana's lingerie. Imagine my surprise when I saw yellow eyes staring at me from the foot of the bed!" giggled the easy-going Camilla.
HRH herself was the next victim of the vermin. The giant rat squeezed under the door of the Royal Bedroom and awakened the queen. The queen ran so fast out of the bedroom she qualified for the 100-metre dash in the 2012 Olympics!
The buck-toothed, beady-eyed rodent next entered the bedroom of Prince William. The rat scared the young prince so much he stopped wanking off for the first time in years!
Palace security soon caught up with the nasty rat. To everybody's astonishment if wasn't a rat at all but Princess Anne!
"I know I have a rat face, but this is a touch insulting!" said the beady-eyed royal princess. "You think I would be used to this by now. Would someone get me a piece of cheese?" she sobbed.