Smithsonian Institute/ Archeological Times - Archeological scholars are astounded with the recent find on the Shetland Isles of a 300' high Landfill dating back thousands of years. The good news is that the site has never before been disturbed. The bad news is that the world apparently is still made up primarily of ass holes who never learned anything from history.
Stock piles of historic artifacts closely guarded on the remote site indicate that man was just as advanced, or retarded, as today, 3000 years later. Dull, boring, professor types and their followers have made an amazing find! Cro magnum man did not recycle either!
Dainty diggers and dizzy dusters found hordes of plastic bags, used condums, aluminum beer cans, discarded I-pod like devices with ancient scrolled letter keys, and religious chants on damaged CD's.
Most mysterious are hundreds of bobble head figures of a sitting Negro nodding his head and gesturing with outspread arms.
Carbon dating of the figure confirms its production date somewhere in the Ming Dynasty made by Chinese Craftsman, shortly before the world came to its end and this phantom race disappeared.
Professor Misty Chiffon, BA, MA, PHD, Harvard Fellow, and Hasty Pudding Cub Member was astounded! Professor Chiffon was appointed head of the dig by Massachusetts Representative Barney Frank who spearheaded the now infamous "Big Dig" in Boston which cost the taxpayers $18B , and made him an expert in exploring and funding "bottomless holes!"
Professor Chiffon, who claims she is a liberal Democrat, was filled with joy when she first discovered the dark skinned figurine. "This was obviously an important god-like figure to these people! To think, even that far back a black man was able to lead these people out of the darkness, and into the future!"
Ms. Chiffon was at a loss to explain the disappearance of this advanced race, but felt sure the answer would be found as she continued to dig through the pile of shit.