Written by IainB
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Topics: Death

Thursday, 13 November 2008

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Consuela Gomez - a millionair for two days

In Brazil, Hernandez Gomez had the last laugh on the day of his own funeral.

Hernandez died aged 82, just twelve weeks after marrying Consuela Blanco, 24, leaving his new bride over a million dollars in inheritance from his popular chain of shoe shops.

Hernandez and Consuela had known each other just two weeks before the marriage, having met accidentally at a charity function where Consuela had been modelling lingerie.

On route to the cemetery, the hearse was rear-ended by a blue station wagon. The coffin carrying Hernandez had not been secured correctly and it flew forward, hitting the grieving, but beautiful Consuela on the rear of the head, killing her instantly.

The subsequent police investigation revealed that it was not old age that had killed Señor Gomez, but an accumulation of arsenic that had taken twelve weeks to accumulate to fatal levels. Further investigation revealed a collection of poison bottles back at the Gomez's residence, and came to the obvious conclusion that Hernandez had taken revenge on his new bride from beyond the grave and killed his own killer.

The driver of the station wagon, Raúl Hector, claimed to have been possessed at the moment of impact, and escaped second degree murder without charge after channelling a message from the police chief's dead dog.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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