Written by Karl Mercer
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Wednesday, 12 November 2008

image for Innocent Video Game In Violent Attack Horror
The kind of scaremongering, interfering bitch who would instigate a pointless attack such as this.

An innocent, defenseless video game has been viciously attacked by a gang of hideous and angry, albeit well dressed and sophisticated, middle class hate-mongering mothers in Slough, UK.

The game, an incident free frolic through a platform world of ones own design, was spotted curled up and crying in the corner of a park by a dog walker.

"I saw this thing in the corner of the park," said the dog walker, "and it was crying. I could hear the sobs and sniffles. I couldn't see anything and was about to walk away when, out the corner of my eye, I noticed a little disc case. It had eyes and a mouth and that, and it was crying."

The harrowing ordeal is thought to have occurred late on Tuesday night. One of those white-suited CSI forensic guys had this to say,

"The game had all the characteristics of having been viciously beaten up, and gang raped. Early indications show traces of rubber residue on the game, which could point to a strap-on having been used in the attack so, this may have been done by women!?"

The game was shaken up, but was brave enough to give us a comment.

"All I want to do is entertain." Said the game. "The general violence of humanity is too much. There's too much war and hate and violence and sanctioned killing. It's little wonder there are monsters in the world who would do this. Some of them have the nerve to say we're a bad influence on their children...We're not the ones buying BBFC 18 rated games for our kids. We know where to draw the line, us games are great parents. The world is such a horrible place. Humans are horrible, and they influence themselves in such terrible ways."

The game, only 2 weeks old, has a very good point.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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