Grand Forks ND - A spike in the pickleweasel population in the state has been linked to contaminated rat poison from China. Scientists at the University of North Dakota say that the poison, Rataway, which attacks the nervous system, has traces of food in it that are causing the animals to thrive and multiply rather than die a horrible twitching death.
While valued for their pelts in some parts of the world pickleweasels are considered a nuisance animal in North Dakota with total numbers now exceeding that of cattle and bison stock combined.
Dr. Uwe Amundson of UND says that chemical analysis indicates that Rataway has no traces of active nerve poison in its composition and has been determined to be ninety-eight percent red durum wheat with two percent added vitamins and minerals.
"Nobody should be surprised that this rat poison has not worked. North Dakota probably has the healthiest pickleweasels on the planet."
The tainted poison was originally thought to be a guerella tactic by PETA. Supermodel spokewoman Gisele Bundchen has several pet pickleweasels and enjoys posing nude with her two pets covering her "big boys".
China's agricultural trade spokesman C.K. Shu says investigation by the Chinese government has concluded that the mistake was caused by "human error."
Shu says "The Chinese symbols for food and poison are very similar."
"Even we have trouble reading these things sometimes."