Written by Charlie Van Horn
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Topics: Fraud, Court

Sunday, 6 June 2004

image for Munchkin Mayor Indicted; Fraud, Conspiracy Charges
Mayor

(MUNCHKINLAND, Oz)--Longtime mayor of Munchkinland, Joey Beavers, was indicted on fraud and conspiracy charges in the Emerald City Regional Court today.

Beavers was the center of an investigation into possible heroin smuggling on the famed "Yellow Brick Road". Although prosecutors failed to get the grand jury to agree to the drug charges, the case for the fraud and conspiracy was pretty much a slam dunk. Well, not a slam dunk, more like a granny style free throw.

"What he would do is get regular height people to do drops for him" said Oz County Prosecutor Eugene Pidgeon. "The cops on the YBR (Yellow Brick Road) do a little bit of profiling when it comes to Munchkins. They have little hands. You can't trust anyone with little hands."

The conspiracy charge stems from a 2003 incident where city records were changed to show that Beavers and others were turning in smaller expense reports to thwart the investigation into the clerk's office.

"They were spending nearly $300,000 a year on those little step stools, yet the street was littered with milk crates. You could say these short guys were taking a little off the top for themselves"

Munchkinland is best known for the murder of Margaret ‘The Wicked Witch of the West' Hamilton in May of 1939. Then Mayor Charles Becker was later arrested and hanged from a really tall shrub for aiding a fleeing undocumented person and obstruction of justice.

Dorothy Gail, the fourteen year old refugee who floated all the way from Kansas in a house, was convicted in absentia of Hamilton's' murder in 1943. Gail later died of an apparent drug overdose in 1969. However, documents released recently seem to indicate her death was an elaborate assassination by the secret police arm of Oz, 'The Flying Monkeys'

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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