Written by winston_smith
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Topics: Poo, India

Monday, 3 November 2008

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NEW: Sh*t happens

Bombay, India Utilizing that old adage, "One man's trash another man's treasure," Pootender Singh, CEO of Tender Poos LTD is literally making his fortune from other man's trash, specifically his sh*t.

"I vuz havin this gallbladder operation ya know? So they placed a cold bedpan on Pootender's sensitive area, that no man should ever touch. And I had von of dose "Eureaka" moments," he said excitedly, "Vhy should viss pan, douch my sensitive area, so cold? Vhy not varm? Den I tott,'vhat do they do vith varm Pootender poo in dis cold pan? Den Pootender tot, vhy not benifit mankind?"

What Mr. Singh would eventually describe is his reinvented bedpan, the Pootender Potty.

A bedpan made from a cornstarch material into a polymer, shaped and sized to your bottom on first use and then disposable.

"Vat is vair Pootender Potty is so excellent, dey can be utilized in the local compost, your garden, or flouva pots and dey make da soil very very good."

Besides the labor to deliver and empty bedpans is both costly and energy consuming with the cleaning. Mr. Singh's invention has universal applications.

"Vink, if you are driving on a long vrip, or you are at a meeting, or indisposed, you can vake out my collapsible pan, go about your business and just vrow it out in your lawn. It will compose itself and make everyone happy."

Apparently Indian's agree.

With a safe, green, hygienic disposal of more than one billion poos a day things are changing in India.

"Vook at the Ganges, in some places you can see bottom, vook at va cities, dey are cleaner? Dey smell better? All va peoples, dey stopped fighting cause they now have place to frow dere feces. Pootender has helped da vorld. And now I vill help the vest," smiled cheerily Mr. Singh.

"Please? You vill try Pootender Potty now? Vhat, you are shy? No need?, Pootender vill demonstrate," said Mr. Singh as he unbuckled his pants and squatted before this reporter.

A smile of contentment came from this Indian inventor.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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