Written by The Big C O Jones
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Sunday, 2 November 2008

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Schwartsenegger: In the Spotlight

In a predictable roll-out, Governor of California Arnold Schwartsenegger gave his mono-syllabic public support for Senator McCains and Alaskan PTA Governor Sarah Palein.

Schwartsenegger bounded on stage right to thunderous cheers from the assembled audience giving his famous 'no-speaking required thumbs-up' pose synonymous with his virtually non-speaking campaign that saw him become Governor of California.

In a somewhat predictable and carefully prepared speech, he talked about McCains rival, Senator Labamba in relation to body-building (which was the basis of Schwartseneggers fame after he won the 'Most Shrunken Male Genitalia' title at the 1982 Mr. World Steroid Abuser competition). He then struck the thumbs up pose whilst McCains and Palein pestered him to sign a Terminator 2 promotional poster.

When Governor Schwartsenegger was asked about how he thought the Republican ticket will fair at the forthcoming elections, he grinned inanely, gave the thumbs-up and said 'Asta La Vista Baby' and the crowd roared.

A reporter enquired of Schwartsenegger that given the current global economic crisis and the fact that it is the republicans that have been at the helm during the period leading up to it did he think that McCains and Palein would perpetuate similar economic policies. Schwartsenegger momentarily looked confused, but quickly responded by giving the thumbs-up. chomped on a fat cigar and said 'Come with me if you want to live' - the crowd went wild.

In an unexpected move, Schwartsenegger then produce a huge knife, rammed it into his arm and proceeded to dig into his flesh from the elbow to his wrist and then cut off his hand.

Visibly shocked at not really being a machine from the future, the heavily bleeding Governor gave a 'thumb-up', grinned like a psycho and said 'I'll be back'. That was enough to send the crowd into a whooping frenzy meltdown whilst Schwartsenegger was led to a nearby ambulance.

McCains and Palein said of the event 'We are sorely disappointed that Govenor Schwartsenegger failed to sign our poster - it was key to giving a much needed boost to our flagging campaign funds as we were going to sell it on e-Bay'.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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