Director General of TheSpoof.com, Sir Mark Lowton, has issued a sternly-worded statement tonight, to address the recent disgraceful scribblings on the site, and to deala crushing blow to writer Monkey Woods, who is to receive a 3-month points suspension with immediate effect.
Woods will not receive a single point until January 31st 2009.
It was Woods who wrote the insulting and defamatory articles about BBC presenters Jonathan Ross and Russell Brand that have so incensed the nation, and heralded calls for them to be published in other languages.
Sir Mark, to his credit, has acted swiftly to resolve the tricky situation, and said just moments ago:
"I've told everyone that I've banned Monkey Woods from receiving any points for three months, but in reality, I've given him a bonus!"
"I hate those two cakes* as well!"
* Jonathan Ross and Russell Brand