Written by Jesus Budda
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Topics: Poo

Friday, 21 November 2008

image for Compulsive Shitter seeks help
She's much happier now with her shitting habits

A laxative-obsessed, cod liver oil-gulping, gingerbread-eating woman has sought help to stem her uncontrollable shitting.

Ida Shitz, 41, from Cologne Germany said her fixation began when she was fed mashed up brown bread and syrup as a child and slowly developed into an obsessive-compulsive style act that has blighted her entire adult life.

"I can't travel", she said, "I'd have to stop the car every 5 minutes to get out and relieve myself. -and that can be very dangerous thing to do on the autobahn".

But she has sought help from a traveling Hindu priest who advertised in her local paper to help those with shitting problems. Ida's was the only reply he received.

"The Indians know a thing or two about shit", smiles Ida, "he's really helped me come to terms with my defecation obsession. No longer do I wake up at night craving a Brussels sprouts sandwich or a liquidized peanuts shake."

It's also proving to be a great money saver for Ida:

"My monthly toilet roll bill has halved and I can invite friends around to the house once again without shitting in their laps".

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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