Written by Chuck Barber
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Topics: Moose, Cowboy

Friday, 4 June 2004

Cross dressing Vermont cowboy Wayne Focus was arrested Thursday night in the woods outside of Hennby, Vermont and charged with unlawful knowledge of a protected animal, specifically, a moose. Wearing a skirt, blouse and stilts, Focus was noticed by passersby as he entered a stand of trees known to be home to several semi-domesticated moose families.

Not long after he entered the forest Mabel Blackmon who lives near the trees heard, "just awful noises coming from the woods. The mooses sounded really upset." Blackmon called the Sheriff's office who responded immediately.

Sheriff Bruce Lightner was first on the scene, "we heard the moose howling. So we walked in careful. Focus was on the stilts and chasing the moose around a clearing. He appeared to be in an excited state." Sheriff's deputy Hiram Bergoin said it took some effort to catch Focus. "He could move on the stilts. If he hadn't hit the deep part of the stream he might have got away."

Focus did not appear fazed by his arrest and laughed as the deputies led him away. Looking back over his shoulder he hollered at reporters, "They're going to strip search me."

No one seemed more upset than Ms. Blackmon, "we feed them all the time, I feel like we let them down. It's sad when a moose isn't safe from maniacs in their own woods."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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