Written by Monkey Woods
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Topics: Food, Japan, Poison, noodle

Saturday, 25 October 2008

image for Japan Noodles Scare As New Flavour Bombs
Noodles with this, noodles with that - it's all they bloody eat!

There was major concern in Japan today over two of the country's biggest food-producing organisations, when figures revealed that the Japanese public did not like their new Insecticide Flavour Noodles.

The two companies involved, Nissin and Myojo, had released the new flavour last month as a trial, in answer to diners who said that they were tired of eating the same old noodles, day-in day-out, and yearned for something new to try.

Nissin, the inventor of the instant noodle, says scientists in their food production laboratory in Nagasaki came up with the new flavour by accident when soil samples they had been taking in relation to "some other project" became mixed-up with some noodles they were developing.

One of the boffins decided to experiment a little with the insect repellant N,N-Diethyl-meta-toluamide, or DEET, and the Insecticide Flavour Noodle was born!

Rival company Myojo copied the flavour after one of its spies managed to get his hands on the recipe, and both companies released the new noodle onto the market in packet and Pot Noodle versions in September.

All was not well, however, when consumers reported that they thought the new taste was "bland and unadventurous". Whilst all the Prawn, Pork and Chicken flavours disappeared from shelves like Hot Cakes, the Insecticide noodles hardly made a sale.

Now, both companies have abandoned production of the Insecticide noodles, and shops have withdrawn existing supplies from shelves.

Tashira Naguchi, Head of Marketing at Nissin said:

"Nobody in Japan wants to eat them. We will export them to UK where they will eat anything!"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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