Written by P.M. Wortham
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Tuesday, 21 October 2008

image for Cuba and Columbia Develop New Hybrid Cigar
The Cuban "Fatty" Has an Even Bigger Surprise Inside

Two cash crops normally outlawed in the United States will be combined to produce a new hybrid cigar called the "Cuban Fatty".

While the U.S. has outlawed certain agricultural product imports from the countries of Cuba and Columbia, Cuba has no such restriction on imports. Combining the best Columbian 'Gold' marijuana with the finest Cuban tobacco, Cuba hand rolling cigar technicians will blend both products, wrapping them in a smooth burning, natural tobacco leaf wrapper.

Looking like a typical Cohiba cigar, the Cuban Fatty will be rolled and boxed with the same production methods as used for other Cuban tobacco brands. The box will only be distinguishable by a green and red import stamp and "Good Shit" stamped on the wood box under the "Cohiba" name.

Though all forms of Cuban cigars are banned in the U.S., they are commonly available across the Canadian border where import restrictions do not exist. As U.S. teenagers near the border have been taking advantage of the 19 year old drinking age in Canada for years, there is a new reason to visit the Great White North. Drug sniffing dogs should prevent most consumers from bringing the new Cohibas across the border, but this reporter finds that sticking them in a large can of coffee grounds works well in thorwing the dogs off the scent. This reporter's editor also questioned the legality of me making a statement like that, but I rushed the article to press under his nose, the narc.

Interviewed on the streets of Toronto, Ontario, several young adults were found smoking the new Cubans on a street corner downtown. One offered his own critique of the hybrid cigar, "Like, they are tough to inhale at first. I mean harsh, but you don't need much to get totally fu@<ed up. Seriously dude, hit this." This reporter politely declined knowing he had two fresh ones in his pocket for the Martini bar later that evening. With the "Fatty" even the sixes look like tens.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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