The results of tests on Paris Hilton, a woman from an exceedingly wealthy famly who own a chain of ludicrously expensive bed and breakfast joints, have today revealed that she has in fact got a brain.
Up to now, despite signs of life, medical experts have been unable to ascertain whether Paris Hilton was actually capable of thinking, leading to their conclusion that while whe was born with a purse and wallet, she might not actually have a brain.
She underwent a stringent new medical test - the chip and pin - where she was taken to a branch of Sachs in New York and lead to the Pointlessly Expensive Prodcuts for Social Idiots Especially - PEPSIE - counter.
Here, without the aid of a safety net, she was able, unassisted, on her own and with no help from anyone, to buy a diamond encrusted floor mop, despite not knowing what it is used for, using her platinum American Excess card.
Her personal physician, Tara Para Tomkinay, was thrilled with her progress. She said: "O K Yarr. Oh I say. Fnar Fnar Fnar."