Pope Benedict has revealed that he plans on joining the Mormon Church. The news comes just two weeks after the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints announced plans to build one of their temples in Rome.
When asked why he planned to convert to a new religion when he was already head of the largest Christian church on Earth, the Pontiff was rather matter of fact. "I met the head of their church, Thomas Monson. He's married and he's got kids and grandkids and he doesn't have to live in a museum or wear stupid looking robes or have guards that are dressed like something out of a Richard Simmons wet dream."
When asked for other reasons, he said that "Utah is clean and pretty and most of Italy is old and dirty. Mormons race around in ten speeds while I have to ride in the stupid Pope Mobile. Also, Vatican City is full of priests and Brigham Young University (BYU) is over seventy percent female. I also notice that BYU is in the top ten in football and undefeated, while Notre Dame sucks again this year."
When asked if his conversion would require him to resign his position and step down, Benedict answered with the rhetorical question: "Is the Pope Catholic?"