WASHINGTON DC (AP) Barney Bush was pardoned for his role in the Abu Ghraib prison abuse scandal. The announcement was made on the White House lawn---just after Barney relieved himself in the tall grass. After his fourth attempt at using the Pooper Scooper, President Bush handed the tool to Dick Cheney who is in charge of this daily duty. Just after licking himself clean, Barney was happy to pose for a picture while slurping his hapless master on the lips.
Afterwards in the White House private residence, the President and First Lady discussed Barney's pardon and agreed that it was a mistake to even consider putting Barney to sleep. "George, I told you it was a mistake to buy all those extra collars and leashes," said Laura as she kissed the President.
Speaking that afternoon to a Spoof reporter, President Bush said, "Laura, Barney, and I have a very special, loving relationship... we share everything together!"