Written by Unconfirmed Source
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Topics: Fighting, Military

Wednesday, 2 June 2004

image for Club Abu Ghraib? US Military Unprepared For Flood of Iraqi War Tourists!
Club Abu Ghraib?

Unconfirmed Sources reports interest in Iraqi war tourism caught US Military by surprise. Interest in the country heated up as soon as the fighting began and the civilian leadership of the US Military just hadn't planned for it. Vacationers to the country are paying the price for the Pentagons lack of foresight in this matter.

Mike Lowry of the Coalition Provisional Authority Tourism Office explained the situation. "It started just after our troops hit the ground, we started getting calls. People wanted to come and visit Iraq. The interest in Iraqi war tourism caught us by surprise. We didn't think it would be a problem and we didn't plan for it. Once we realized the scope of the problem we formed our office and we have been growing ever since."

In a news conference this morning Don Rumsfeld, the Secretary of Defense, tried to reassure the travelling public. "We are making progress every day. Things are getting better. We are building rooms and restaurants as fast as we can. And the truth is, things are just not as bad as the news media is portraying it. Sure, we wish things had progressed faster, but things are getting better."

In addition to the lack of hotel guest rooms and restaurants the availability of timeshares and rental houses has caused problems. The demand for these properties has surged as the area now offers lots of excitement for the money. New properties are being quickly developed to capitalize on the new interest, but for now properties are expensive and rare.

One plan floated to ease the crisis is to convert the Abu Ghraib prison into a resort with hotels and condominiums. CPA officials have approached the Club Med Company with plans to convert the sprawling 280 acre site. Club Med would not comment on the story but Unconfirmed Sources has received a draft copy of the proposal.

The Plan calls for the conversion of Abu Ghraib prison into "Abu Ghraib Resort Villas". The prison buildings would be turned into hotels, shopping centers and timeshare condos. The walls and guard towers would be left in place to provide security for the complex and provide for beautiful views of the city and surrounding countryside.

Armored buses and helicopters would be used to ferry guests to and from the complex and also allow people to visit areas of heavy fighting. For the more adventurous there would be tours and activities where one could "Be a Militant for a Day" or "Crack Down on Innocent Civilians: A Hands on Workshop".

For more information on the tourism situation in Iraq tune into the hearings being held by The Senate Armed Services Committee. The hearings are expected to concentrate on the current state of Iraqi tourism and explore why the Pentagon was not better prepared for it.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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