Moscow, Russia / Terrorist Times
Funded by a massive financial grant from a Democrat controlled Congress, the Militant Action Group, ACORN, assured its military independence by completing a huge weapons deal facilitated by Vladimir Putin, former KGB head and proponent of World Unrest.
ACORN envoys completed the deal earlier this week after their check cleared and was further guaranteed as part of the recent $700B US bailout of financial institutions by a Barney Frank Earmark.
The AK 47, deemed the world's first assault rifle, is the largest mass produced weapon of war and has become the symbol of revolution and anti-Americanism through out the planet.
Pushing for the weapon's adaptation was new President Barrack Hussein Obama, who noted that if it wasn't for his father's community action activities in Mozambique, Zimbabwe, East Timor and Burkin Fas the AK-47 would not be on those nation's flags of state today. He also noted that the image is featured prominently by Hezbollah, and is the official logo of the Iranian Revolutionary Guards Corps.
Considering the original AK model too cumbersome for today's urban warfare, Obama's Weapons Minister, William Ayers, had ordered the more easily hidden AKS-47 with folding stock. ACORN spokesmen have said the modified weapon now fits easily inside drag ass shorts, 4XXXX sports jerseys, and under oversized ball caps.
The Kalashnikov rifle has such stature in bloody African countries that the nickname for many African youth is "Kalash". Hospitals in Cook County, Illinois have noted a recent rise in popularity of the name on birth certificates, almost as popular as the name listing "Father" as "Unknown."
Obama said that with the disarming of the American Military, the M-16, formerly the Army's weapon of choice, will be sold as scrap. The mostly plastic components will be sold to China, who has already signed a Wal-Mart deal to return them as life like AK's to the US in time for Christmas as Urban Training Aids for the Youth of America.
Rev. Wright, spiritual leader for the President, crowed from his pulpit last Sunday, "Ya,suh, them chickens are certainly comin' home ta roost now!"
His pronouncement was met with a joyful fusillsade of automatic gunfire pointed to the heavens