With speculation rife that Prince William and Kate Middleton are about to split, Royal-watchers are in a downright tizzy. After six years of dating based on an "understanding", Kate was horrified to learn that Wills has decided to put his RAF career ahead of their relationship.
Her close friends have said: "She simply can't wait for another eight years with no firm promises. Besides she wants to be Queen of England not a military wife. She has had many other proposals that she has turned down; but now she is seriously considering some of them".
Famous astrologer Crystal Ballz forsees a Charles-Camilla scenario. "The Royals are doomed - there's been a curse on them ever since the days of the Boleyns. All signs point to Kate marrying a rich older American and Wills entering into a marital alliance with a member of the Danish Royals who is also related to Princer Philip via the Romanovs. Naturally, like all royal couplings, both marriages will be unhappy and Wills and Kate will end up becoming lovers just like Charles and Camilla, whose grand-parents were also lovers".
The Queen is reported to have said: "We are not amused".