News has emerged today that Pope Benedict XVI was once accused of drink driving. Back in 1972 in Berlin, a young Cardinal Josef Ratzinger was driving his VW Beetle in a noticeably erratic manner.
In Seine News interviewed Heinz von Ketchup, the police officer who stopped his Holiness.
Von Ketchup said; "I was following zis tatty weiss beetle through Von Goebelstrasse and it vas swerving all over ze place and so I stopped him and I said "I suspect you of drink driving."
A man in a bright red dress and wild, staring eyes said; "Do you know who I am?"
"He showed me some Holy orders and told me he was Cardinal, Josef Ratzinger."
"I vas amazed at stopping the ze future Pope himself. and so all I could say is; "Sorry your Holiness, but I still think you're driving under the influence"
"Nein zir!" he said.
"Vell vos ist dat Zere?" I said pointing at ze bottle of wine on the passenger seat.
"Oh, it's a bottle of Holy water I'm taking for a baptism service." he told me.
"I vas not convinced and asked for ze bottle. He gave me ze bottle as I was sure he vas not telling ze truth."
As I popped ze cork, a rich aroma of grapes filled the air I said; "This is'nt water, it's wine."
"GOOD LORD! He's done it again!" he said.