Written by JJ Jogolo
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Saturday, 4 October 2008

image for Global Warming Linked To Dead, Missing Children
The cause of Global Warming

Scientists at the Mulberry Institute of Practical Sciences believe they have uncovered a new and even more destructive contributer to the world global warming crisis. According to their findings the surge of dead and missing children across the World over the past decade is greatly to blame for the climate changes now affecting the entire globe.

Dean of Science Harold Beauwanker explains, "The World has an epidemic on it's hands. The number of kidnapped, missing and murdered children has risen to unthinkable proportions. How does that equate to global warming? Candlelight vigils. Over the past decade our weather satellites have been picking up a strangely increasing overland phenomenon which has turned out to be candlelight vigils."

"The vigils are held across the World, worldwide from 6 p.m. to midnight for killed, kidnapped and missing children. They have become so many that rather than allowing the earth to go through it's natural cooling process in the evenings, the hundreds of millions of candles being burned every night are actually heating up the inner continents. These vigils are in fact not allowing the world to cool off and this is affecting the global climate at an alarming rate. We must stop the vigils and to do that we must stop allowing our children to be stolen from us."

Prof. Beauwanker has made a valid find. The US Department of Missing and Dead Children has informed us that 47 children become dead or missing every minute of everyday. That is up from 5 children per minute in 1994. The U.S.D.M.D.C. is expected to make yet another public outcry to stop abducting the children.

In the mean time, while the children continue to disappear and become dead, it would be wise to spread the word to all candlelight vigilers that while using the battery operated electric candles may not save our children, they may very well save our planet.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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